As someone starting residency next year and whose father and brother went through it, and whose girlfriend is about to start it I have to say that you can't be mad at him for not sacrificing something to spend time with you - there is literally nothing else to sacrifice; residency is called residency because the doctors used to live in the hospitals, and it was akin to monks in monastery. Sorry, but it just isn't worth it. I also expected that my spouse would be temple worthy and that I would get married in the temple, which was not the case.
She doesn't want to marry you. The extent of other physical activity depends on what you both want from the relationship, though in general the Mormon Church frowns on sexual contact even beyond intercourse. You do not want hear in jeans if you are planning to eat at a fancy restaurant. I would like to know if this is normal.
Might be worth working through the missionary lessons and CES letter to see if they can agree at least to disagree. Things have worked out pretty well with us so far. I know we don't know each other, but it seems like we all share a commonality that connects us all very deeply. Hopefully she could realize if she was born into one of these cults that also distrust apostates she probably wouldn't see through them either. That is a hard truth. He is not willing to cut back on hours or ever get off of his career track.
You can't reason with fanatics, and you got one. Consider a mix of activities that are inexpensive, and allow you to talk and learn about one another. There will, in fact, still be churches besides our own. She is now happy with her uber-Mormon boyfriend and I am happily dating other people as well. This woman has already given two full years fully devoted to the institution without question. For me this has been an opportunity to increase my love, tolerance, compassion and acceptance.